Simplicio: Our blasted ears are aching again! We really ought to go back to the ENT, and probably the TMJ guy as well. It could be referred pain from grinding our teeth. In fact, I bet it is.
Iatrogena: Careful there, sport. We’re going to hurt ourselves with all those acronyms. They pave the road to the spoonies.
Simplicio: Oh shut up. Our wife hears us grinding our teeth in the night, and the dentist himself remarked on our case being pretty severe! What more evidence do you need that there’s a real, physical condition, and not just in our head?
Iatrogena: That’s a false dichotomy. Sure, there’s a physical component. But it’s also in our head, because everything about our experience routes through our head. The underlying stress that leads to teeth grinding, too. Some jaw pain may be physically required, or maybe mental processes can filter it out. But making a thing of it, paying fine-grained attention to the body’s inevitable weirdness… we know where that goes.
Simplicio: No we don’t! Stop being ominous and say it straight.
Iatrogena: The vast majority of the suffering is attached to a story. So we should pick a better story. We’re fine. We have ordinary aches and pains, hardly a blemish at all on a charmed life.
Simplicio: Now wait just a minute, now you’re the one trying to will certain subjective experiences into existence, regardless of the underlying facts.
Iatrogena: Of course I am. That’s not a dunk. That’s the fundamental project. I’m totally willing to admit it. You’re the one who isn’t.
Simplicio: And what is it I’m not admitting? What is it I want here?
Iatrogena: To be coddled. To be lavished with attention. To be exempt from the basic duties of caring for ourself. To indulge in the pleasures of flashing lights and easy fiction, without a care in the world save our poor sore throat.
Simplicio: Fine. Suppose I took what you’re saying as true - and, to be clear, I don’t - then I’m unconsciously playing up physical pain to get needs met. Never mind that this flies in the face of the clearly observable, medically verified symptoms. I believe the next move in this game is some guru suggests that we find a different way to meet the same need, right? That’s how the pain dissolves. So go on. How?
Iatrogena: Oh, no, you misunderstand. It’s not a need. It’s just weakness. Like a sugar craving. The solution is to get tough.
Simplicio: What? That’s insane! It’s not real! There’s no magical slider labeled “toughness” that we can just turn up; we’re already overextended, everybody who loves us says so. The very fact that you’d suggest that implies, implies… ah. Fuck.
Iatrogena: Implies what, dear? Implies some sort of psychological impasse? A duel between impulses, between ways of being, dare I say between narratives? Which might, perhaps, manifest through physical symptoms?
Simplicio: No, no, no. You’re not going to trick me. I never disputed that the mind played any role. You’re right about that; of course it does. But it’s not the whole picture. And addressing the physical part, which is generally easier to get a handle on, is a much cheaper intervention than trying to dive into the center of the psyche and reroute foundational pain.
Iatrogena: Sure, sure, spit out a mouthguard every night. Be my guest. Diving to the center of the psyche is the only real remedy, though.
Simplicio: No it isn’t! Just as easily, attempting it can procedurally generate exciting new mental puzzles to solve and displace stress onto, when the real trouble is a vitamin deficiency or masseter malfunction or some other basic mechanical failure of the human machine.
Iatrogena: Do we not like exciting new mental puzzles? Here I thought we loved them. They inject energy. They encourage movement. Maybe that movement includes physical solutions; for a while we thought about injecting Botox into our jaw, but chickened out, right? The ENT hasn’t helped. We’ve gotten the mouthguard refit several times. So come on, bro. Let’s go to the narrative labyrinth. Quick adventure. We can do it right from bed.
Simplicio: Or we could do something else in bed. Like, um, sleep enough.
Iatrogena: …
Simplicio: …
Finally united against at least one strategy, the two laugh so hard that they burst into tears.